Tag Archives: Lifestyle

Why Are Black Skinned African #Woman Labeled As #TrueAfricanBeauty And Not Simply Beautiful?

What is beauty? This seems like a simple question with an obvious answer , I feel silly even asking it. In reality though we know fact and truth are not necessarily the same thing. So, let us not even define the word beauty, instead let’s just focus on the perception or idea of beauty within society.

If you have read my blog much you will have come to the realisation that the topic of woman and beauty fascinates me. The idea or perception of +beauty has been the centre of many heated conversation and argument even on social media. A few days ago I uploaded a picture of a random model on my facebook page, it was of a beautiful dark-skinned African model. She wore a lovely gold and cream designer dress – she had THE MOST AMAZING SKIN (that’s the first thing I noticed before focusing on her face) and bone structure. When I saw her picture I was excited, I thought I had to share it. She was a simple beauty with short hair.

The reaction I got from my facebook friends was of mixed reaction but nothing I did not anticipate. There are those who would like without commenting and a few who simply said true African beauty (I hate that term, beauty is beauty it is not African or western) and then came the expected comments from those who are ‘anti-black skin’, they went straight for the jagular and pointed out the fact that the model is too ‘black’ (too black for who? Or what?). Of the three types of people on +facebook I prefer the critics over the likes because with them at least I know what I’m getting.

The anti-black skin community believes if you are too dark (black) you are not beautiful, while the pro-black skin community embraces everything +African sometimes to a fault. Because in most cases they will pick a dark skin person over a light(er) shade or afro over a weave and African print over more contemporay attire. My only concern with people, friends and family that are pro African is they can get the lines between African beauty and African pride blurred.

Beauty is a universal term, there is no African beauty there is simply beauty and then there is African style or African inspired style. If a +model or woman from Africa is beautiful that should be because she looks appealing to the eye – she is a beautiful woman.
In many cases African beauty has been potrayed as that of a – woman, I do not agree with this ideology. In Africa we have many +shades of skin from the darkest to very light skin and kinky coily hair to straighter wavy hair. Yet, of all these differences the one the western and the world community embraces as ‘true African beauty’ is the darkest tone with the most coiled hair and in almost all cases the hair is short (African women love their hair, I have no idea why these iconic black woman have short hair-it might be a coincidence). The world perception of isolating African beauty into a category of its’ own is a great source of division.

I will not point fingers at where and how all this came about, we all know enough about the history of Africa to know that this is the effects of years of oppression of the body and now of the mind. African people need to know that colour does not define a person. We need to steer away from cosmetic +skin lightener (that’s a topic for another day). The world should let Africa decide what is African and what is beauty. I just hope in time African people can see beauty before .



What is your experience on peoples perception of African beauty or the beauty of an African woman?

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Like All Things Beautiful Keep Calm And Know Pretty Hurts, Women Suffer For Beauty


PRETTY HURTS, I never knew exactly what this statement meant until I became a woman. Growing up life was simple, but then you grew up and suddenly life got complicated. My mother use to say ‘you suffer for beauty’ she usually said that right after I did my hair and I complained of how much it hurts. The thought of getting my hair done was a great feeling. It usually meant I could style my hair as desired as opposed to having an afro or I could rock a set style like braids. Finally I would have hair that flows.

Everyone would tell you how pretty you will look afterward but no one tells you just how much it hurts. Whenever I had my hair relaxed I got burned by the relaxer creme. The hairdresser would tell me ‘be strong, hold on just a bit more, the longer you sit with the relaxer the straighter your hair will become’ I always did as advised. As you can imagine, the relaxer creme did burn my scalp, but my hair was dead straight and that my dear reader was THE BEST FEELING EVER! everyone would compliment you on how great your hair looks.

Fast Forward many years later, and a good relaxer is not the only thing that hurts. Now, all of a sudden you have things like weight, skin, diet, pose, make-up, hair, beauty and public perception to worry about…like your teenage years weren’t enough trouble. But, I have to say, my school years it seems were a walk in the park back in the 90’s. Today’s teenagers are too self aware, so much that their teenage years are literally based on their LOOKS more then their academics. And that alone makes me happy to be born in the 80’s.

The honest truth is we should all embrace who we are as INDIVIDUALS. We are all unique and beautiful in our own way. Being pretty is not everything. Beauty comes in many shapes and forms, pick one that agrees with you and be happy with your choice. If you asked me If I believe looks are important my answer would be ‘yes’. But the question is, are looks as important as we believe they are, what influence has media and society played in our perception of beauty? I believe the question of beauty is not one of shape or form but one of emotion and feeling. To me feeling beautiful and confident matters more then looking beautiful. But, beauty will always be admired and sought after just like the mystical fountain of youth.

Pretty hurts pretty much at any age for woman. Growing up I always thought at a certain age woman stop caring about their outer appearance. I now realise that this isn’t so, since my mother in her late 50’s is still so concerned about her APPEARANCE and wouldn’t mind losing a few kilo’s and having a smaller waist. Women love to be beautiful outside in.

The female form is God’s greatest work. She is a measure of all that is good, her proportions are just the right measure – from her body, to her mind, to her heart. Everything is proportioned with a good measure of love and care. But pretty always hurts, this BEAUTIFUL form was built to withstand hardship. Childbirth is one of the most beautiful gifts and like all things beautiful – it hurts.


Follow me on twitter: @kellymthethwa

Styles That Make Your Hair Shine

You are your hair! Hair is a woman’s beauty feature that can easily be overlooked. What better way to express yourself then through your hair. Although we experiment with different hair styles throughout our lives and for different occasions; there is that one style that defines our persona.

Take a look at the styles that defined not just the moment but the stars that be.

If you had to go out with everything but your clothes what would it be? Why not wear the most amazing part of you, your hair?!


Hair can be trendsetting like any fashion item, pulling off a look like the one above sometimes requires attitude to be translated into your hair.

Go bold or go home…if you are confident enough sometimes the bare minimum will suffice.

It’s all about attitude and less about looks. But, it’s almost always about the hair.

The more hair the better and the crazy the better…after all a woman’s beauty is measured by her hair, whether thick, long, curly, straight or plain kinky. Hair is your best feature, the first thing you put on before anything else.


Follow me on twitter: @kellymthethwa

Images courtesy of Google images


The Secrete To SEXY!

Women love looking beautiful and being told just how gorgeous they look in their new anything. But, nothing says beautiful, gorgeous and hot like putting on a little sexy something. Lingerie is not just an undergarment to woman, it’s a secrete weapon of allure. A weapon that makes any woman feel on top of the world, her weapon to making any man weak in the knees as she moves in for the kill…Seduction is the name of the game…

with imagination as your driver.

The possibilities are limitless and every twist has a turn that seems more interesting then the last.

It’s the unspoken words, body language, eye contact, her temptress ways and zeal that gives this amazon warrior her sex appeal.

But, the one true secrete to her sexiness is…her own little secrete.



Follow me on twitter: @kellymthethwa

Images courtesy of Google images.


Women’s Month at the Beverly Hills – Tsogo Sun Hotels

Tsogo Sun - Bevererly Hills
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills – Lap Of Luxury

August is the month to celebrate a woman’s beauty and with that comes the beauty that life has to offer. What better way to celebrate than to spoil your loved one with surprises big and small. This week I thought, let me indulge in the things that make any woman’s heart skip a beat with the Woman’s Month coming up I thought the Beverly Hills hotel would be the perfect getaway for any woman.

Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills uMhlanga Rocks Coastline
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills uMhlanga Rocks Breath-taking Coastline

The Durban coastline offers the best views and that spectacular touch of romance and luxury. uMhlanga Rocks coastline provides serenity and untamed relaxed beaches where one can enjoy the brush of the morning breeze not to mention the great scenery.

Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills Hotel
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills Hotel, Why not sit back and relax

The Beverly Hills Hotel has great facilities on offer to spoil that special someone or to do business in style and comfort. Enjoy free hi-speed WiFi, fitness centre, golf course, squash court, luxury spa located at the Suncoast Hotel and Towers to name a few.

Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills Dinning Experience
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills Dining Experience, the Catch
Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills Dinning Experience
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills Dining Experience. Take delight in life’s little pleasures

With Tsogo Sun being the Official Hospitality Partner of Masterchef South Africa; one can only expect to be spoilt to the best dining experience in South Africa. The Beverly Hills hotel signature restaurant The Sugar Club specialises in international cuisine with sea food being the speciality, each dish is crafted into works of art to create an exceptional culinary dining experience.

Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills  hotel
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills hotel, Why not relax and order in
Tsogo Sun - Beverly Hills  hotel
Tsogo Sun – Beverly Hills hotel, Take in the Scenery

Whether you planning to spend your time at home, with friends or out and about trotting beautiful Durban, South Africa; make sure you make time for the woman, mother, grandmother or daughter in your life. Tsogo Sun, Beverly Hills hotel has planned some lovely packages, I loved the Culinary Calendar Of Events 2013, I’m sure you will find it a delightful treat.


Follow me on twitter: @kellymthethwa